jillbeingstill

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Finger Pointing Is Useless

For better or worse, a child has the childhood they have as a result of their parents choices. Period. I did. You did. Your kids do.

If the child’s parents break the law, it hurts their kids more than anyone else. Trust me, I’ve seen it first hand. It’s heartbreaking. No one wants to see a child be hurt or suffer. No one.

We cannot change a child’s parents or make their decisions for them. BUT…

What we can do about it is to be there for the kids around us. First and foremost, pray for them and their parents. Then invest in them, if you’re able. Encourage and support them. Hug them (when and if that is appropriate). Pay for them to go to a camp. Bring them with you to fun activity that you take your kids on. Tutor. Mentor. Foster. Adopt. Donate your time and/or money to organizations who help kids. Or if God’s put it on your heart, start an organization.

Ranting fixes nothing. Hating and finger pointing changes zip. This post and your post and all the other posts add up to zero.

Changing things and helping people will cost you something. Time. Money. Effort.

Are you willing to put your resources where your mouth is or are you just going to finger point and continue to rant?

My point in posting this is to say 2 things: 1. Kids need the village. Be the village. And 2. Stop blaming the government for everything. Step up and take some responsibility yourself. Some of you do…and I have mad respect for you and how you walk out your life. But I’ve seen some BS rants by people I know just like to complain. And I’m over it. That is the spirit behind this post.

Point to ponder while you wander…Love is a verb. You want to change the world? Then get off your phone. Get out of your chair. DO something. End of my rant.

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Musical Monday: Because of You

I had intentions of a completly different (and fun) song today, but I felt like I needed to post Because of You by Kelly Clarkson. The video is powerful, please watch it before reading on.

I have 2 words of encouragement today; one for the kids who feel this way and one for the parents. Both are encouraging so please keep reading, and remember there’s always hope.

Message 1: For the Kids
I understand the feelings behind this song. As kids, we suffered from our parents bad choices. Those choices may still be affecting you now. If that’s you today, I’m praying for you to forgive your parents and any other care giver who hurt you.

This forgiveness releases you from the bondage of the past. This forgiveness is so you can move forward and be whole. This forgiveness is the very thing Jesus was talking about in Matthew 6.

If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Matthew 6:14-15

If you hold on to this anger and hurt it becomes bitterness! That’s why Jesus demanded you to forgive others. Not as a law…but as a freedom for YOU from bondage.

Unforgiveness hurts you. Poisons you. NOT the person you’re holding a grudge against.

Please hear my heart here!

I watched someone I love dearly eaten alive by bitterness towards his father. And I’ll be honest, his hatred was justified. His father was a cruel man that came far too close to beating his mother to death. This is horrendous. No child should have to see that!

I also watched bitterness taint the most joyful, hilarious, and downright blast of a woman I ever knew. I watched this amazing woman age rapidly after she lost her joy. She became sullen, negative, and bitter. People began to avoid her, which multiplied the bitterness into cancer. And I lost her.

A joyful cheerful heart brings healing to both body and soul. But the one whose heart is crushed struggles with sickness and depression.” Proverbs 17:27 TPT

Don’t let yourself be tainted. Don’t let yourself grow bitterness. Confess your anger and bitterness to God. Speak out loud that you forgive whomever your bitter towards, whether they are still alive or not. Whetherthey deserve it or not. And anytime that hurt/anger/resentment/disgust/sadness begins to rise…you say it again. And you keep saying it until it stops rising up.

Eyes that focus on what is beautiful bring joy to the heart, and hearing a good report refreshes and strengthens the inner being.” Proverbs 15:30 TPT

God NEVER wanted you to be hurt or have a rough childhood. But people make choices that affect others. He DOES want to heal you. He wants you to be whole.

The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” John 10:10 NKJV

Please forgive so you can be free!

On an a personal note about my parental units…I love my parents, but they are flawed. They made mistakes and bad choices that handicapped me in some ways. But I have forgiven them for that crap, and moved forward into adulthood. I yearn to see them become all they were designed to be. When I forgave them, it felt like a million pounds was lifted from my shoulders. I felt free. And for the first time I was able to love my parents right where they were at. I was able to see them clearly, with God’s eyes.

Honor your father and mother.” This is the first commandment with a promise:  If you honor your father and mother, “things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.”” Ephesians 6:2-3 NLT

Message 2: For the Parents

So I tell you, every sin and blasphemy can be forgiven—except blasphemy against the Holy Spirit, which will never be forgiven.” Matthew 12:31 (See also Mark 3:28)

You made mistakes as a parent. No one parents without making mistakes. You need to forgive yourself. I’m praying for you to come to the place where you choose to forgive yourself, even if you don’t deserve it.

If you are caught in a web of unforgiveness/bitterness for what happened to you as a child and guilt for repeating the cycle, please please please, forgive your parents and forgive yourself.

So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death.” Romans 8:1-2

The man I mentioned above who hated his father became an alcoholic who beat his wife. He repeated the cycle. Years later, he refused to receive the forgiveness of his ex-wife and children. He refused to forgive himself. The guilt he felt about repeating the cycle became self-hatred and he died at a mere 60 years old. I lost him. It was a devastating loss of a man with the kindest softest heart, a generous people person, and a jokester who made me belly laugh more times than I can count. My heart broke that he couldn’t forgive himself, and couldn’t receive healing before he died.

If you’re reading this it’s not too late for you! Come to Jesus and confess your mistakes and receive His forgiveness and forgive yourself. You getting help and becoming whole is the best way to show your kids it’s possible. Healing is possible. Restoration is possible. Breaking the cycle is possible!

If there is a chance for reconciliation and restoration of relationship, you should offer an apology, without expctation. This could help THEM heal. But understand that they may not be ready or able to forgive you. That’s okay. You should still forgive yourself.

Even if you don’t deserve it, forgive yourself anyway. Even if the situation is bad enough that your children can’t or won’t forgive you, forgive yourself anyway. Even if they are repeating your mistakes, forgive yourself anyway. Then pray for them to repeat your good choices, to seek help and to forgive themselves as well.

Point to ponder while you wander…”Let all that I am praise the Lord; with my whole heart, I will praise his holy name. Let all that I am praise the Lord; may I never forget the good things he does for me. He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases. He redeems me from deathand crowns me with love and tender mercies. He fills my life with good things. My youth is renewed like the eagle’s!” Psalm 103:1-5 NLT

A 10 Year Old’s Inspiration

When I was 10 I fell in love with an English actor I thought was about 9 or 10 years older than me. My logic was when I’m 20, he’ll be 29. #perfect

Like I said, I was 10.

I had been watching his show for about 2 weeks, when my Nana sat down with me to watch this “weird new show” I was telling her about. Then she ruined my day.

The conversation went something like this…

Nana: “Oh my goodness! I haven’t seen this show since your mom was your age!!”

Jill: “Isn’t it fun? Wait! What???”

Nana: “These are reruns Missy. This show is from the 60’s.”

Jill sits in silence as she tries to process.

Nana: “One of my nieces actually kissed the lips off of one of his posters.” (Points at the love of my life).

Jill shakes her head in disbelief as she realizes the love of her life for these two long weeks is not 19 nor is he 20. He is… (gulp)…in fact…41.
#NOOOOOOOO
#TotallyDevastated
#DreamCrushed

The show was The Monkees and the dreamy guy was Davy Jones.

image

I may not have ever met him, but this dreamy maraca and tambourine playing Brit inspired my love for England, musicians, British accents, and my dream of going to England. And while in England I discovered that I love tea, Jane Austin’s Mr. Knightly (played by Jeremy Northam in 1996’s Emma), and riding in the front on the 2nd level of double decker busses. So thanks for the inspiration, Davy! 😉

Point to ponder while you wander…My dream of going to England was inspired by a dreamy kid on a 1960’s TV show that I watched 20 years after it originally aired. That dream came true 11 years later, when I studied at the University of Derby.

Inspiration is everywhere, my blog reading friends. So keep your eyes open and Dream Big!

Incredible and Edible

When I was a kid, I loved going to NaNa & Boppie’s and helping NaNa with her massive garden and feeding the chickens.  Although I must admit the chickens scared me a little bit.  It all stems from getting pecked in the forehead whilst trying to collect eggs.  My Mom tells me the scar on my forehead is from chicken pox, but I personally believe it’s from that vicious hen who tried to take my eye out!

Anyway…..after the eggs were collected, we took them to the cabin to be washed and sorted.  Nana had this little egg scale that we used to measure what size the eggs were.  I personally found this to be super fun!  Especially when the eggs measured as “extra large” because that meant they were probably a double yolker!  I was always pumped for my life when I got a double yolker.

I got to wondering, because I like random facts, what is the record for yolks in one egg?  I found multiple places that said 9, so I’m going to go with that.  Can you imagine the size of an egg that has 9 yolks in it?  Now that is an omelet!

So your fun fact for this Friday is that the most yolks in a single egg is 9.  For more fun egg facts…check out this link:  http://www.poultryhelp.com/oddeggs.html

Have a fabulous Friday!