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Rough Road

I have been having a rough couple weeks…and it’s really starting to affect all areas of my life. Tossing and turning. Bad dreams. And the first acid reflux attack I’ve had since 2001.

I want to choke people with that Darth Vader choking maneuver….pretty much every day now. Ever have a hard time not to following Anakin to the Dark Side? I must admit that path is oh so tempting and pretty right now. (See Psalm 37)

So this verse is my mantra today.
Seek the Lord and His strength; Seek His face evermore!” Psalm 105:4

I don’t know how to defuse the frustration and sadness that’s been building for months…and all I know is that God does. I need Him to help me. I need to be in His presence…where peace and joy are always found.

Point to ponder while you wander… God’s strength is only made perfect/complete when combined with our weakness.

Emotional Exhaustion

I’ve been struggling with emotional exhaustion and my fuse is the shortest it’s been since before I first started the healing process with Jesus 12ish years ago.

I don’t like it when I’m short tempered and negative. I hate it when I start bashing anyone and everyone who annoys me in any capacity. So I need this reminder today….

Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:31-32 NLT

Point to ponder while you wander…it is so easy to take out our hurt, frustration, and fear on other people, especially our immediate family or those we live with. But there’s a better way.

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

I need this rest today, and I pray you and I both find it.

Time for Change

On Monday I talked about how I will not be moved.  By that I mean that I won’t let go of God, His word or His promises.  No way no how.  But as serious as I am about hanging on, I’m just as serious about change. 

As much as I love my cozy comfortable bed and simple little life, I crave change.  I need it.  When my life gets boring or monotonous I create whatever change what I can.  I used to move to a new place once a year or so, until I bought my house.  Now, instead of moving, I rearrange my furniture or move my bedroom to another room in the house.  I paint walls.  I dye or cut my hair.  I take road trips.  I even take a different way to work, just to have something different.  Being still is difficult when you continually have the desire to go somewhere, anywhere, else. 

It’s not that my life is bad.  It’s not.  I have a job.  A house.  A car.  I’m healthy.  My family’s healthy.  I have great friends.  I go to a great church & love my church family.  I’m grateful, truly grateful for the blessings in my life.  But there’s something in me that craves the new.

It’s not that I’m discontented.  I’m not.  But I love to learn new things.  I love to create processes and set things up and then turn it over to someone else to maintain.  Once I master something, I’m over it.  I need the challenge.  I need the adventure of learning new things or discovering new places.

Had I been born in the 1600-1800s I probably would have been one of those people continually going west.  Although I wonder how that would have gone because I’ve never actually made it to Oregon on the Oregon Trail game.  Ever.  Has anyone?  Ever?  Even as an adult I cannot beat that stupid game.  Anyway…

It’s funny that I posted about the song ‘Moving On’ the other day because I’m really feeling the need to move on.  Like I said, it’s not that I need to escape a horrible situation or bad people.  I don’t.  I just need some change.

Then I went to church last Sunday and got challenged a bit in my idea of moving on and change in my Pastor’s new sermon series called… Move.  No seriously…after thinking about and talking about this all last week with my friends, I go to church and hear it’s time to move!  You can check it out here.  Pastor D talked about how growing and moving forward always starts in God’s Word.  The answer is always the Word.

God’s Word is amazing.  It transforms our thinking.  It is the light unto our path.  It is alive and sharper than any two-edged sword.  It teaches us.  It edifies and encourages us.  It brings healing to our hearts and bodies.

If you are frustrated or feeling stuck… If you are in a place that you can’t really move…  If you need some change…  Maybe God’s calling you higher.  Maybe He’s challenging you to go deeper.  Maybe it’s time to move and change INSIDE.

Happy Thursday.

Not Easily Provoked

“Love does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”  I Corinthians 13:5

Love is not easily provoked into anger. 

This one’s a toughie for those with a short fuse or a temper.  It’s especially tough when dealing with someone close to you who knows exactly how to push the right buttons to fire you right up.  Interestingly enough anger here actually is a compound word in the Greek.  One word is alongside.  The other is to stir.  Picture someone purposely coming alongside of you and poking you with a sharp stick until you can’t take it anymore and blow up, that’s what the word means in the original Greek. 

Anger is a secondary emotion.  This means that it always starts as another feeling before it grows into anger.  Diffusing anger requires dealing with the source emotion.  When you do that, the anger dissipates.  What are the sources of anger?




Anger can also come from unforgiveness, but usually one of the above three are the culprit. 

When you feel anger beginning to build, take a deep breath.  Then ask yourself:  Am I hurt?  Am I afraid?  Am I frustrated?  Then deal work on dealing with the root of the anger.  Don’t allow yourself to be provoked into a verbal explosion or a physical fight.  If possible remove yourself from the situation or the person poking and prodding you, even if it’s just for a few minutes to calm down. 

This is the Jill translation of this verse:  Love bites one’s tongue and controls one’s temper.  Love does not explode into a verbal explosion of harsh words and obscenities.  Love doesn’t punch someone’s lights out because it is hurt, afraid or frustrated.

Jill will continue to work on this.  🙂 Happy Wednesday!

Bonus Scripture:  “Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared.” Proverbs 22:24-25