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Sometimes we get hurt and the other person may be completely unaware that what they’ve done has hurt us. Choose to go talk to them. Face to face. Not easy, but definitely the right way to handle it, so says Jesus.
“If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back.” Matthew 18:15 NLT
Talking about a person will never solve anything, nor will screaming at them or silently fuming. Talking WITH them, honestly and openly might. Choose to be the bigger person.
Point to ponder while you wander…if the other person is unwilling or unable to openly dialog, CHOOSE to forgive anyway and pray for them. This releases them to God so you can move on. Unforgiveness hurts you, not them.
“Love does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” I Corinthians 13:5
Love is not easily provoked into anger.
This one’s a toughie for those with a short fuse or a temper. It’s especially tough when dealing with someone close to you who knows exactly how to push the right buttons to fire you right up. Interestingly enough anger here actually is a compound word in the Greek. One word is alongside. The other is to stir. Picture someone purposely coming alongside of you and poking you with a sharp stick until you can’t take it anymore and blow up, that’s what the word means in the original Greek.
Anger is a secondary emotion. This means that it always starts as another feeling before it grows into anger. Diffusing anger requires dealing with the source emotion. When you do that, the anger dissipates. What are the sources of anger?
Anger can also come from unforgiveness, but usually one of the above three are the culprit.
When you feel anger beginning to build, take a deep breath. Then ask yourself: Am I hurt? Am I afraid? Am I frustrated? Then deal work on dealing with the root of the anger. Don’t allow yourself to be provoked into a verbal explosion or a physical fight. If possible remove yourself from the situation or the person poking and prodding you, even if it’s just for a few minutes to calm down.
This is the Jill translation of this verse: Love bites one’s tongue and controls one’s temper. Love does not explode into a verbal explosion of harsh words and obscenities. Love doesn’t punch someone’s lights out because it is hurt, afraid or frustrated.
Jill will continue to work on this. 🙂 Happy Wednesday!
Bonus Scripture: “Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared.” Proverbs 22:24-25