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Monthly Archives: January 2017

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2016’s Resolution

Last Year’s New Year’s Resolution.  Pass or Fail.  I’ll let you decide.

Backstory:  I determined after about a decade+ of the same new year’s resolution (not putting myself in a situation I was not strong enough to resist).  I was going to stop doing resolutions.  Goals are important.  Yes.  But tying them to a day on the calendar I think can sometimes be more stressful than good.  Anyway… I had a well meaning (I think) person ask me about my new year’s resolutions.  I told her I didn’t have any.  She looked at me like I had three heads.  “Bbbbut you have to have new year’s resolutions.”

Um.  No.  I don’t.

But the conversation continued until I said fine….my new year’s resolution is to learn the actual lyrics to Bennie and the Jets by Elton John.

I believe there was eye rolling involved by one or both parties…but it was a year ago so I can’t be completely sure.

So did I in fact learn the lyrics to Bennie and the Jets?  Well….let me type them out and see how I do.  This is without listening to the song in a few weeks.  And without it on now.  Just memory.

Hey kids, shake it loose and listen.  The spotlight’s hitting something that’s been known to change the weather.  We’ll kill the spotted calf tonight so stick around.  You’re gonna hear electric walls of souuuuund.

Oh Candy and Ronnie have you seen them yet?  Ooh but their so spaced out.  Bbbbennie and the Jets.  Oh their weird and their wonderful.  Oh Bennie she’s really keen.  She’s got electric boots, a mohair suit.  You know I read it in a magazine, oh ohhh.  Bbbbennie and the Jets

Hey kids….. something something something…

hmmm.  There’s another part here la la la la la 

We’ll fight our parents out in the streets to see who’s right and who’s wrong.

Oh Candy and Ronnie have you seen them yet?  Oh but their so spaced out.  Bbbbennie and the Jets.  Oh their weird and their wonderful.  Oh Bennie she’s really keen.  She’s got electric boots, a mohair suit.  You know I read it in a magazine, oh ohhh.  Bbbbennie and the Jets

Okay… I’d give myself a C+ if these lyrics are correct because I can only remember the first and last lines of the 2nd verse.

Now I’m gonna listen to it and see if I can get them all….hold briefly.  Or maybe you listen too. (The video is classic 70’s Elton…my personal favorite Elton).

Ok…so I missed a few words. electric music solid walls of sound. In my first attempt.  Fatted calf.  Not spotted.

Chorus.  Yes. Yes.  Pretty Solid.

2nd verse with the music…not perfect but close.  This is what I sang… Hey kids welcome to the faithless uh uh blinded  but Bennie makes them ageless.  We shall survive let us bring ourselves along.  We’ll fight our parents out in the streets to see who’s right and who’s wrong.

Full Lyrics to Bennie and the Jets by Elton John and Bernie Taupin

Hey kids, shake it loose together
The spotlight’s hitting something
That’s been known to change the weather
We’ll kill the fatted calf tonight
So stick around
You’re gonna hear electric music
Solid walls of sound

Say, Candy and Ronnie, have you seen them yet
Uh but they’re so spaced out, B-B-B-Bennie and the Jets
Oh but they’re weird and they’re wonderful
Oh Bennie she’s really keen
She’s got electric boots a mohair suit
You know I read it in a magazine
B-B-B-Bennie and the Jets

Hey kids, plug into the faithless
Maybe they’re blinded
But Bennie makes them ageless
We shall survive, let us take ourselves along
Where we fight our parents out in the streets
To find who’s right and who’s wrong

Oh Candy and Ronnie, have you seen them yet
Oh but they’re so spaced out, Bennie and the Jets
Oh but they’re weird and they’re wonderful
Oh Bennie she’s really keen
She’s got electric boots a mohair suit
You know I read it in a magazine, oh
B-B-B-Bennie and the Jets

Oh Candy and Ronnie, have you seen them yet
Oh but they’re so spaced out, Bennie and the Jets
Oh but they’re weird and they’re wonderful
Oh Bennie she’s really keen
She’s got electric boots a mohair suit
You know I read it in a magazine, oh
B-B-B-Bennie and the Jets
Bennie, Bennie and the Jets
Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie and the Jets
Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie and the Jets
Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie and the Jets
Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie and the Jets
Jets, Jets
Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie
Bennie, Bennie and the Jets

So I did pretty well, not perfectly…but pretty well.  I listened to three times in a row and got it about 99% right, so I am checking the box to 2016 New Year’s Resolution Complete.  If you’re looking for a new year’s resolution or need one to get someone off your back.  Give this one a try.  It was a fun one for me over the year.  I tried to get other people to learn them with me.  My 12, now 13, year old nephew.  My roommate.  You know.  Share the fun.

Point to Ponder While You Wander… Don’t let people pressure you about your goals.  You determine where you’re headed. So you should set your own goals that lead you in the direction YOU want to go.  Don’t be pressured into being or doing something that just isn’t you.  You be you.

Also…not all goals have to be life or death serious, people.  Jesus came to give us abundant lives…that includes joy and laughter.  And this NY’s Resolution thing has been really funny to me all year long.

PS…Do you sing “Hold me closer Tony Danza” instead of “Hold me closer Tiny Dancer” too?  Or is that just me? Ha ha

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Jesus is not a wussy

​Tonight I had a conversation with an intelligent and kind man who wanted to talk about theology, religion, and the rules.  I think he was genuinely curious…and not bad mouthing God. 

But I am simply the wrong person for that kind of intellectual based conversation. Not my strong suit. Because it is such a heart thing for me…that I cannot always explain so someone’s head can understand. I hope that in the coversation that I represented my Jesus well. But I’m not sure I did.

I just love Jesus. And Jesus loves me. He’s my guy. He saved my life when I didn’t believe I was worth anything…including life. I thought I was a mistake who wasn’t even eligible for the promises of God. But now…I know He knew I was worth dying for…so He gave His life. So I live for Him. 

Do I screw up? Yep. Daily. But He still loves me. He still roots for me. He still thinks I’m worth it. And He feels the same way about you. 

Religion sucks. Because it puts you in a box to be like everyone else. 

Jesus doesn’t fit in a box. He walks on water and calms storms. He touches lepers and heals them. He teaches women and calls them to change the world. He loves first. He flips over tables when people cheat or rob in the name of God. He is not a passive wussy. But He is love. He gives peace that passes all understanding. He loves first. Yes, I said this twice because it is worth repeating.
He loves you no matter who you are or are not, and no matter what you have done.

He is the love of my life. My heart. And generally that is such a private and personal relationship that I don’t talk much about it. 

But today I felt like I needed to. So I did. The end.

Point to ponder while you wander…Jesus is not a wussy. He’s a life giver who flips tables, loves the unlovely, and believes in those the world thinks are beeath them.

Reinforcements

Here’s what I’ve learned through it all:  Don’t give up; don’t be impatient; be entwined as one with the Lord.  Be brave, courageous, and never lose hope.  Yes, keep on waiting- for He will never disappoint you!”  Psalm 27:14 TPT

I ended my last blog with this verse.

And immediately I was attacked about all these things.  Patience.  Courage.  Hope.  Trust.

Honestly, I’ve hit the breaking point.  I want to quit.

I don’t want to spew forth negativity or go back or undo progress I’ve made.  So I put on worship music and I called in reinforcements.  No seriously.  I did.  I knew if I called people I’d rant and be negative.  So I messaged a very select group of trustworthy prayer warriors.  I have a great group of friends, but what I’m battling is not to be shared with all my people.  Just mentors and a few others.  I’ve learned the lesson that when you’re in a depressed state or a downward spiral, the first thing you should always do is turn on worship music.  The second thing is pray.  When I can’t pray…like today…I call in trusted people to pray for me.

I will come out of whatever funky dark place this is.  I will overcome.  I will be back to myself.  I will kick fear’s ass.

But today I need help.  So I asked for it.

That’s all I got today.  Worship.  Ask for help.  Pray.

Point to Ponder While You Wander…Don’t give up, but instead lift up your hands and worship.  Many battles were won in worship in the Bible.

I Wanna Go Back

I’ve been walking around singing the chorus to an Eddie Money Song, “I Wanna Go Back.

You know the song right?

I wanna go back
And do it all over again
But I can’t go back I know
I wanna go back
Cause I’m feeling so much older
But I can’t go back I know

How many times in life do we wax poetic about the past?  How often to we think that a previous season was just so much better than the one we are in?  Especially when we’re in a stretching time, waiting on the Lord, or being required to step out in faith.

That’s when we begin to practice the art of selective memory.  “Welllll…I may not have been appreciated at my old job, and I had to work unpaid overtime, but at least it paid well.”  “I know my dream is to live in the BIG CITY but I’ve lived here my whole life.  I am comfortable here.”  “I know God is calling me to step out and do __(fill in dream here)___ but I just __(fill in excuse here)__.”

It’s so easy to just remember the good and filter out all the rough stuff.  Or vice versa to remember only the bad and filter out the good.

The truth is usually somewhere in between.

Every season has positives and benefits and also opportunities to learn patience and grow.

My current season is all about letting go of the past and completely embracing all the new things.  I’ve given away, sold, and donated most of what I owed.  Couch. Bed.  TV and DVD Player.  All gone.  I reduced my library to the bare minimum.  I pared down my DVDs to the essential favorites.  I’ve pretty much got a car, clothes, shoes, an inherited storage bench, jewelry, and a whole lot of artwork.  And it’s all chilling in an 8 X 10 area of my Mama’s basement.

I’ve been working out of state on a work engagement.  And I felt like the last time I went home, that I had to let go of home.  I know that I need to be open to what is coming next.  So I moved out of my comfortable home that I shared with my roommates with the affordable rent.  And got rid of the above mentioned stuff and moved the remaining into la basement a la mama. (Thanks Mom!  You’re the best!!)

Where am I going to live after my work engagement is over?

I literally have no idea.  But God does.  And I need to just trust that He wouldn’t tell me to let go of something, if He didn’t have something better for me.

Is that scary?

Yes.  Yes it is!

Is this easy?

No.  No it is not!

And I’m singing…I wanna go back go back and do it all over but I can’t go back I know. 

But I really don’t want to go back.  I want to move forward.

I know in my gut that God’s doing something amazing.  And I have peace that I am right where He wants me to be.

I’ll be honest though…there’s a part of me seeking to hold onto the comfy security of the season I was just in.  It was a relatively calm, peaceful season after the 2 tumultuous years of suck I lived through.  I could wax poetic about how good that season was.  And it did have some really great benefits!  But I’d be lying if I said it was an easy season.  Because it wasn’t.  It was a season of the greatest losses I’ve ever experienced in my life.  In 5 months lost my Papa, my Nana, and my Dad.

Like I said…every season has its perks and its drawbacks.  Perk-great roommates and cheap rent.  Drawback-loss of my people.

A part of me would even love to go back to the two years of suck…because I had my people.  I spent so much time with my grandparents during that time.  They needed help, and because of continual unemployment I was available to help them and just be there.  But I can’t go back.  I can’t go play scrabble or dance with Nana on her deck.  I can’t go watch tv with Papa or take him out to a movie or a museum.  I can’t call my Dad, and tell him about the stupid thing I did that day, so we could laugh together about it.

I’m really learning to appreciate that each season is a mixed bag.  Some wonderful moments.  Some challenging events.  Always an opportunity to grow and change.  And reasons to be grateful abound.

So even though we cannot go back and do it all over again, we can take the lessons and the memories with us as we go forward as a reminder to enjoy the current season.

Point to ponder while you wander…

The rabble with them began to crave other food, and again the Israelites started wailing and said, ‘If only we had meat to eat! We remember the fish we ate in Egypt at no cost—also the cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions and garlic. But now we have lost our appetite; we never see anything but this manna!’” Numbers 11:4-6 NIV

This is the epitome of selective memory.  The Israelites were poorly treated slaves, that their male babies were slaughtered by the Egyptians.  They were on their way to the Promised Land, and yet they wanted to go back to being slaves again so that they can eat some cukes and garlic.  Really?

Don’t despise the journey.  Learn from it.  Grow from it.  And trust God.

Here’s what I’ve learned through it all:  Don’t give up; don’t be impatient; be entwined as one with the Lord.  Be brave, courageous, and never lose hope.  Yes, keep on waiting- for He will never disappoint you!”  Psalm 27:14 TPT