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Being Real with God
Deep Thought Thursday: God’s not looking for a show.
“Be especially careful when you are trying to be good so that you don’t make a performance out of it. It might be good theater, but the God who made you won’t be applauding.” -Jesus (as quoted in Matthew 6:1, Message Version)
So if God doesn’t want us to “play righteous” or to “be good”? What does He want from us?
He doesn’t want anything FROM us, He wants US. He wants the real us. The REAL YOU. The REAL ME. No one can have an authentic relationship with someone who is fake and pretending, including the Almighty God.
I remember the first time I really got real with God. I was in a class called Healing for Women.* We were supposed to come to class and journal every week. And I’d been faking it the whole time. Meaning I was showing up, participating in class, and doing the journaling BUT…I wasn’t really being real. I was telling people what I thought I was supposed to say. Speaking Christian-ese. Then one Saturday night I got real. I filled pages and pages in the notebook I was journaling in. It was ugly and it hurt like all get out, but I was real for the first time. Then I read it and sobbed. One of the things I realized was that I was livid at God. And I just “knew” that being angry with God was a sin and I was going straight to hell. That being said I still went to church the next morning (maybe my church attendance would help me with the hell problem). During our hug and handshake time, I had a full-fledged breakdown. I went to the bathroom to finish my breakdown out of the presence of my pastors, friends, and church family. No one needs to see that.
On my way to hide out, I literally ran right into my friend Michelle because I couldn’t see through the tears. Here’s the gist of our conversation:
“Jilly, are you alright?”
“No. I’m going to hell.”
Looking confused. “Um, why do you think you’re going to hell?”
“Because I’m angry with God.”
“You don’t think God knows you are angry with Him?”
Me looking confused. “Um?”
“Jilly, He knows. But now that YOU know, He can deal with it. Just admit it and apologize to Him and move on.”
“I can do that?”
Nodding head. “Definitely.”
“Wow.”
Now I “knew” that God knew everything. Hello, He’s God. Duh. But it never crossed my mind that despite the fact that He knew I was angry with Him and falsely accusing Him of causing every bad thing in my life- He loved me unconditionally anyway. Who is this God who loves whacked out broken people who blame Him for all the bad stuff, take credit for the good He does, and generally disregard His Word? He must be crazy, that God.
But something happened right then. Something changed in me. I got hungry. For the first time I wanted to get to know this “crazy” God. I knew of Him, but I didn’t know Him. It’s like Job at the end of the story having his eyes opened, and seeing God clearly for the first time. The God I thought He was would have smited me outright. But this God knew my mess and still loved me. Wow. I was wrong. I misjudged Him completely.
My being real with myself led me to be real with God. Being real with Him, led me to seeking Him, to really know and have a relationship with Him. I began to seek Him. And when I sought Him, I found Him.
I found Him to be trustworthy, faithful, loving, kind, and welcoming. He’d always been that way. He’d always been right there, as close as the air I breathe. Even though I turned my back on Him, He never left me. He never gave up on me. His arms were always open to me, I just didn’t know. That’s who God really is. The real Yahweh. He cannot lie. He cannot be anything other than who He is. And that is what He wants from you. To be straight up real with Him.
He wanted a real relationship with Adam and Eve too, but they chose knowledge over Him. He wanted it from the Children of Israel too, but they chose religion and the law over Him. This is what God had to say about their choice of the law over being real with Him:
“I hate all your show and pretense—
the hypocrisy of your religious festivals and solemn assemblies.
I will not accept your burnt offerings and grain offerings.
I won’t even notice all your choice peace offerings.
Away with your noisy hymns of praise!
I will not listen to the music of your harps.
Instead, I want to see a mighty flood of justice,
an endless river of righteous living.” Amos 5:21-24
God does not want another performance or a faux show from you. He wants you to be raw and real with Him. He doesn’t want you to pretend to be good or act happy. He wants to give you real joy and real peace. He wants you to come to Him broken and honest, so He can heal and help you. He can heal any broken place that you open up and give Him. He can restore anyone and anything that comes to Him. Nothing is too difficult for Him.
But He can only work within the confines of our choices. So if you choose to wall yourself in and pretend that you are fine, He’ll honor that choice. It’s not what He wants, but He’ll respect your choice.
While I chose to keep myself shut up and not let Him in, He respected that. He never left me, but He didn’t interfere either. He never forced His way in. But when I opened up a smidge, and let Him in a little. He healed the area that I let Him in. Then I let Him in a little more and a little more. Each time I invited Him in, He brought healing and peace with Him. He’ll do the same for you.
Choose to be real with Him. David was real with God. And God called David a man after his own heart. Did you hear me? God called the man who got another man’s wife pregnant (AND was responsible for that same man’s death) a man after His own heart. Why? Because of their relationship. He saw through David’s behavior to his heart. He knew David, the real David, because David never held anything back from God. Good, bad, ugly. He gave it all to the Lord. Don’t believe me, read Psalm 51 where He lays the Bathsheba debacle before the Lord. That Psalm shows a real relationship with God.
To be real or not to be real. Choice is yours.
*If you are a woman living in SE Michigan and want to take Healing for Women, go to this link for information. This session is closed but the next one starts 11/25/13. It will change your life.
Forgiveness is a Choice
I don’t know what I dreamt about but I woke up feeling deep. Deep as in I want to analyze everything deep. Then I heard a song this morning on my drive to work about the freedom found in forgiveness and dealing with things instead of blaming someone else. And my mind headed straight for Matthew.
Matthew was my first love and long-term relationship. I dated people before and after him that I cared about, but no one has remained in my heart the way he has. I think that when you really truly love someone a piece of you will always care what happens to them. I freely admit that the love is still there.
Our break up was THE hardest one of my life. (Truthfully, it was harder and hurt far more than when I ended an engagement at 26 years old). But it needed to happen. It needed to happen because we were growing and changing in separate directions. It needed to happen because we had the same 3 fights on repeat. It needed to happen because we were trapped in between genuine love and completely different priorities. It needed to happen because we were wounding each other deeper every day.
When we did break up I blamed him for the majority of it. If he would do this and not do that then we wouldn’t have fought so much. If he’d just do this instead of that! Why doesn’t he do this instead of that? You see where I’m going with this. He readily took the blame I handed him, so I thought I was totally justified.
When I started dealing with my own issues and insecurities a few years later, I saw our break up in a totally different light. I realized that I was basically expecting a kid, (we dated from 18 to almost 21) who didn’t even really know who he was or what he wanted out of life, to fill every need in my life. Including the needs only God can fill. Can you say UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS?
The guilt of what a horrible person I was to him plagued me for months and months and months. I realized how demanding I was. I realized that I never appreciated the good things he DID do. I didn’t appreciate how far he would drive to come see me or when he did choose to do nice things for me. I swung from the blaming him for everything to blaming myself for everything. I forgave him, but at the cost of condemning myself completely. Can you say JERK? Or better yet, can you say MARTYR?
The true cause fell somewhere in the middle. There were some things that I legitimately needed to take responsibility for, as they were clearly my issues. But there were some things that he needed to do to and take responsibility for. We were both at fault and we were both hurt. And in the end it didn’t really matter what we did or didn’t do, what mattered was that we were both deeply hurt.
What about you? Are you holding a grudge against someone for things long past? Are you still blaming everything wrong in your life on someone else? Do you realize that not forgiving them is actually hurting you, not them? You’re actually holding your own self hostage!
Or are you at the other end of the spectrum holding yourself hostage with guilt, shame or blame? Do you need to forgive yourself?
Either way, choose today to let it go. Go to God and tell Him you don’t want to carry whatever it is you’re carrying anymore. You can be free of guilt, shame, regret, unforgiveness, and condemnation. When those feelings rise up and you feel yourself sliding into that bitter pit, take it back to the Lord and forgive yourself/the other person again. Do it every day if you have to. Do it until unforgiveness no longer plagues you.
The freedom is worth the work to get there. Freedom is better than bitterness any day. Trust me.
Forgiveness Facts–
*God requires forgiveness. “Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” Colossians 3:13. See also Matthew 6:15 and Luke 6:37.
*God has forgiven you, so you should forgive yourself. “For as the heavens are high above the earth, so great is His mercy toward those who fear Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.” Psalm 103:11-12
*When you forgive yourself and others, you need really to let it go. Don’t meditate on it. Don’t rehearse it over and over in your mind. Don’t even remember it. God doesn’t. “For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more.” Hebrews 8:12. It’s repeated again in Hebrews 10:17.
*You don’t have to reconcile or have a relationship with someone to forgive them. Stephen forgave the men as they were literally stoning him. “Then he knelt down and cried out with a loud voice, “Lord, do not charge them with this sin.” Acts 7:60
*You don’t have to tell someone you forgive them, to forgive them and move on. Whether you see them every day, you don’t talk to the person anymore, or even if they have passed away, you can forgive them just the same. This is between you and God. Jesus took it to God directly, immediately. “Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.” Luke 23:34
*Forgiving someone does not excuse their behavior, nor does it exempt them from legal prosecution in rape, abuse or other situations where the person has broken the law.
*Forgiveness releases YOU to move forward and not be plagued by what happened.
I’ll be honest; it actually took longer and was harder for me to forgive myself than it was to forgive Matthew. Years ago I was fortunate enough to able to apologize to him face to face. We had a very good conversation that day about many different things. It was the most freeing conversation I think I’ve ever had. I let go of the guilt I was carrying for my part completely for the first time.
Forgiveness is truly a beautiful thing.
Time for Change
On Monday I talked about how I will not be moved. By that I mean that I won’t let go of God, His word or His promises. No way no how. But as serious as I am about hanging on, I’m just as serious about change.
As much as I love my cozy comfortable bed and simple little life, I crave change. I need it. When my life gets boring or monotonous I create whatever change what I can. I used to move to a new place once a year or so, until I bought my house. Now, instead of moving, I rearrange my furniture or move my bedroom to another room in the house. I paint walls. I dye or cut my hair. I take road trips. I even take a different way to work, just to have something different. Being still is difficult when you continually have the desire to go somewhere, anywhere, else.
It’s not that my life is bad. It’s not. I have a job. A house. A car. I’m healthy. My family’s healthy. I have great friends. I go to a great church & love my church family. I’m grateful, truly grateful for the blessings in my life. But there’s something in me that craves the new.
It’s not that I’m discontented. I’m not. But I love to learn new things. I love to create processes and set things up and then turn it over to someone else to maintain. Once I master something, I’m over it. I need the challenge. I need the adventure of learning new things or discovering new places.
Had I been born in the 1600-1800s I probably would have been one of those people continually going west. Although I wonder how that would have gone because I’ve never actually made it to Oregon on the Oregon Trail game. Ever. Has anyone? Ever? Even as an adult I cannot beat that stupid game. Anyway…
It’s funny that I posted about the song ‘Moving On’ the other day because I’m really feeling the need to move on. Like I said, it’s not that I need to escape a horrible situation or bad people. I don’t. I just need some change.
Then I went to church last Sunday and got challenged a bit in my idea of moving on and change in my Pastor’s new sermon series called… Move. No seriously…after thinking about and talking about this all last week with my friends, I go to church and hear it’s time to move! You can check it out here. Pastor D talked about how growing and moving forward always starts in God’s Word. The answer is always the Word.
God’s Word is amazing. It transforms our thinking. It is the light unto our path. It is alive and sharper than any two-edged sword. It teaches us. It edifies and encourages us. It brings healing to our hearts and bodies.
If you are frustrated or feeling stuck… If you are in a place that you can’t really move… If you need some change… Maybe God’s calling you higher. Maybe He’s challenging you to go deeper. Maybe it’s time to move and change INSIDE.
Happy Thursday.
Deep Thought Thursday: Forgiven Much
Deep Thought of the Day: Those who are forgiven much, love much.
Earlier this week I read this verse, “God rescued me from the grave and now my life is filled with light.” Job 33:28 NLT
It moved me greatly and I’ve been thinking about it ever since. You see, I know very well who I was before God and what He has done for me. I know where I’d be without Him. I’ve been forgiven much and I am grateful for Jesus’ sacrifice and the grace of God. I’ve done some really really stupid things. I won’t illustrate because I don’t want to give anyone any ideas. But suffice to say that I’ve been forgiven much.
Not everyone understands why I love God and why I talk about His love all the time. Why I post about it on FB, Twitter and here on my blog. Why I am willing to be obedient to what He asks, even when I don’t really want to be. Well the reason is that those who are forgiven much, love much.
There’s an example of forgiven much and love much from Luke 7:36-50. It’s the story of the woman anointing Jesus’ feet. This is in the Amplified Version.
One of the Pharisees asked Jesus to dine with him, and He went into the Pharisee’s house and reclined at table. And behold, a woman of the town who was an especially wicked sinner, when she learned that He was reclining at table in the Pharisee’s house, brought an alabaster flask of ointment (perfume). And standing behind Him at His feet weeping, she began to wet His feet with [her] tears; and she wiped them with the hair of her head and kissed His feet [affectionately] and anointed them with the ointment (perfume).
Now when the Pharisee who had invited Him saw it, he said to himself, If this Man were a prophet, He would surely know who and what sort of woman this is who is touching Him—for she is a notorious sinner (a social outcast, devoted to sin).
And Jesus, replying, said to him, “Simon, I have something to say to you.”
And he answered, “teacher, say it.”
“A certain lender of money [at interest] had two debtors: one owed him five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. When they had no means of paying, he freely forgave them both. Now which of them will love him more?”
Simon answered, “The one, I take it, for whom he forgave and cancelled more.”
And Jesus said to him, “You have decided correctly.”
Then turning toward the woman, He said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? When I came into your house, you gave Me no water for My feet, but she has wet My feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You gave Me no kiss, but she from the moment I came in has not ceased [intermittently] to kiss My feet tenderly and caressingly. You did not anoint My head with [cheap, ordinary] oil, but she has anointed My feet with [costly, rare] perfume. Therefore I tell you, her sins, many [as they are], are forgiven her—because she has loved much. But he who is forgiven little loves little.”
And He said to her, “Your sins are forgiven!”
Then those who were at table with Him began to say among themselves, “Who is this Who even forgives sins”?
But Jesus said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go (enter) into peace [in freedom from all the distresses that are experienced as the result of sin].”
This story always brings tears to my eyes and touches my heart every time. We don’t know what happened to her to send her on this path of sin. But I suspect she was very broken. Very hurt. Most likely she had never met anyone who treated her with respect or showed her love without strings. He didn’t want anything from her. He didn’t use her. He didn’t judge her. He loved her. And it permanently changed her in the way only love can. He looked at her and called her forgiven. He looked at her and said go in peace. That word peace is the Greek Word, eirene. When applied to the salvation of the Messiah, Jesus, it actually means the way that leads to peace and salvation. It’s the tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ. Can you imagine looking into the compassionate eyes of Jesus Himself and hearing those words? The truth is that is exactly how He feels about you! And me!
I love all the stories about how Jesus related to and loved women. He was so gracious. So respectful. So kind. His motives were pure and brotherly and He valued the women He met. He saw them beautiful and precious just like His Father does. We women are precious to God, even in our broken state. This is why for the rest of my life I will love Him. I will obey because I love Him and I know He only has my good in mind. I will worship and praise every day, because He rescued me and filled my life with light. I have so much to be grateful for, and that I cannot stop worshipping. And I don’t want to!
Here’s Big Daddy Weave’s “Redeemed” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSyLqbP8Z4I
Deep Thought Thursday: Being a Doer
Deep Thought of the Day: Being a doer of the Word is actually loving God.
I woke up this morning hearing this: “Just do it, Jill. Just do what I told you to do.” This made me think of James 1:22, “Be a doer of the Word, and not hearers only.” Being a doer simply means you apply what you hear to your everyday life.
Here’s James 1:22-24 in NLT: “But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like.”
When I first started learning about God’s grace and mercy it seemed like a contradiction to what James talks about. On one hand you have the verses about resting and letting God do the work, then on the other hand you have be a doer of the word and faith without works is dead. So which is right?
They both are. God’s Word never contradicts itself. We are supposed to rest in God and partner with Him. But our part of that partnership is obedience to the Word of God. Meaning you apply the Word to your life. It’s that simple.
What I find most interesting about being a doer is that God actually links our choice to obey His Word with our love for Him.
Jesus says in John 14:15, “If you love Me, obey my commandments.”
He says in John 15:10, “When you obey my commandments, you remain in my love, just as I obey my Father’s commandments and remain in his love.”
I John 5:2-3, “We know we love God’s children if we love God and obey his commandments. Loving God means keeping his commandments, and his commandments are not burdensome.”
Now before you start scrolling on back to Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy for all the laws and requirements. Remember that Jesus gave us only two commandments: ‘”You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”” Matthew 22:34-40
The point is that when we walk in love and act in love, we are being a doer of the Word. When we are being a doer of the Word we are being obedient, growing, maturing and loving God all at the same time. Many birds, one stone.
Happy Thursday!
Word Nerd Note: The Greek word for ‘hearers only’ is akroates. In classical Greek times akroates was used to describe people who audited a class. (Taken from “Sparkling Gems from the Greek” by Rick Renner.) These were people who went to lectures for entertainment.
A Biblical example of these akroates would be the people Paul preached to in Athens (see Acts 17). They were all about listening to what Paul had to say and learn about this “unknown god” but when it came down to accepting Jesus and living for Him, sadly they passed.
FYI: Today’s Bible Version is the New Living Translation (NLT)
Abiding in God
Today’s Deep Thought: If you really want to do big things, you must learn to abide in God
Jesus, Himself, said, “Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned. If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you. By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples. As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love. If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love. These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full.” John 4:6-11
This speaks to me of becoming one with God, entering a true partnership. We do our part, God does His.
Our part is to obey what God has told us to do even if it doesn’t make sense. Even if we don’t understand why. Then we rest, knowing God is faithful. Then, we wait. We trust. Be believe. We speak His word. We stand on His promises. We praise Him for what He’s doing and going to do. We thank Him for what He’s done. We seek His presence. And then we receive from Him. This is our part.
God’s part is everything else. Yes. You heard me. Everything else is God’s part. He’s a big God so it’s easy for Him. But He needs you to partner with Him. He needs you to trust Him. He needs you to abide.
You will have amazing adventures with Him. You will do things that you never dreamt or imagined were possible. But you won’t be doing them alone. You’ll be doing them with Him and in His power. That’s why being connected to the vine is so essential! We need His power to do those amazing things.
Abiding in God is remaining steadfast. Believing that no matter the way we feel or what the situation looks like God is who He says He is and will do what He said He will do.
God abiding in us means that He strengthens us every day. Fresh anointing. Fresh grace. More love. He never leaves or forsakes us.
Abide: To remain; continue; stay. To endure, sustain. To wait for; await. To accept without opposition or question. To act in accord with; to submit to; agree to. To remain steadfast or faithful to; keep. Synonyms: 1. wait. 2. live. 3. persevere, endure.
Being Trapped Sucks
Today’s Deep Thought: Being trapped sucks. But if you pay attention, you might just learn something.
I need to go through a guarded gate to get to work. There are 2 gates to choose from. 95% of the time I go through the one gate. But yesterday I felt like I should go to the other one, but I brushed it off and pulled into the turn around like I do most days. I was the third car in line so I was waiting my turn. From where I was all needed to do was shoot across the 4 lanes and into the gate. It was 6:50 am, so I was exactly on time. Then I notice the traffic beginning to get squirrely and start to back up. Took me about 30 seconds to see the problem, an accident blocking the middle lane about 50 feet beyond the gate.
I was literally across the street from work and I couldn’t get there because the accident was backing up the traffic in front of me. No one was letting people over. People were honking and screaming and flipping each other off. It was then I realized I should have listened and gone to the other gate.
I decided that the easiest way to get out of this situation is to just turn left into the closest lane and then flip back around and drive to the other gate. Simple right? Wrong. The one car in front of me was determined to shoot across 4 lanes of dead stopped traffic to the gate. So I can’t go forward or turn left. I can’t back up because there’s a line up behind me. Trapped!
How many times does this happen in our lives? We get stuck in a situation that we can do nothing about. We get trapped by circumstances that may or may not be our fault. Sometimes we blow up! Sometimes we want to quit! Other times we can see the problem and the solution but can’t fix it, so we have no choice but to wait it out.
No matter what it seems like at the time, God’s not trying to frustrate or torture us when we are forced to wait. He knows that waiting is a process that produces fruit in us. Romans 5:3-5 says, “And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance,and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”
God loves to bless His children. He desires to prosper us. He wants to give us the desire of our hearts. But He’s much more concerned with our heart attitude and our character than giving us things. That’s why the waiting is necessary. It shows us our heart attitude. It reveals areas that we need to work on. It shows our maturity and character. It shows whether or not we REALLY trust God.
In the case of my delay yesterday, I had to wait for about 15 minutes for the person in front of me to cross the road. It was a little like Frogger. I don’t like Frogger because I never actually made it off the first board. But I digress. About the 10 minute mark of my 15 minute wait, I lost it. I was calling everyone around me names. Obscene ones. Then I looked up at the sky and asked God how He was able to make it even a single minute without destroying us, because people are really stupid. Now normally I pray and praise on my commute so that this does not happen. But not today. I have to admit I shut my ipod off about that same time, saying now is not the time for “O How He Loves Us” by Kim Walker-Smith & Jesus Culture. It was actually the perfect time for that song, but again I digress.
Anywho, the person in front of me FINALLY went I was able to turn left and go around to the other gate. I pulled into one of the lanes and waited my turn. When I was the next car I had to wait again for this lady to walk across in front of me. Then I noticed the man walking with her. My favorite guard! He’s friendly and cute and seriously has THE BEST smile. He could brighten anyone’s darkest day with that smile. I pulled up at the exact time he was taking his post in my lane. I may or may not have swooned.
Then I hear God say, “Don’t curse what I have blessed. My delays are for your good. They are for your protection.”
I felt stupid for blowing up over something so stupid as a traffic delay. I threw a fit like a toddler and swore like a sailor for absolutely no reason. Ridiculous.
The point of all this is that when you feel trapped, remember Romans 5:3-5. Remember that you are in process. Know that God sees the whole picture so you can trust His timing. Know that if there’s a delay, it’s for your protection, not your harm. He’s not trying to keep something from you. He’s making sure you are ready to receive the good He has in store for you. God has appointed times and seasons for everything. See Ecclesiastes 3. http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ecclesiastes%203&version=NKJV
PS: I want to clarify something. I’m not saying God caused an accident so that I could see the guard with the great smile. God doesn’t work that way. If you think He works that way, you’re wrong. He doesn’t cause bad things. Bad things happen all on their own. But God will take those bad things and turn them for our good. If I had listened and gone to the other gate in the first place, I’d have been to work on time and there would have been no issue. But I didn’t. I got trapped because I didn’t listen. Then God used that bad situation to teach me something, and blessed me anyway. He turns things meant for harm around for our good (Romans 8:28). He’s still good, even when we’re not.
“If we are unfaithful, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny who He is.” -2 Timothy 2:13
Deep Thought Thursday: Expectations
Today’s Deep Thought: You Get What You Expect.
I used to think that keeping my expectations low would protect me from disappointment. My thinking was that if I didn’t expect much I couldn’t be disappointed. If I didn’t expect relationships to last, when they inevitably ended, I wouldn’t get hurt.
Low expectations mean you aren’t disappointed. Right? WRONG! Low expectations mean you don’t know who you are! Low expectations of God mean you don’t know who God is!
I didn’t understand that I was a blood bought child of the Most High God with covenant rights. I had authority. I was deeply loved. I had the right to go BOLDLY to the throne of my Father. Despite all this, I was living like a slave. Hoping that if I kept my head down and did everything I was told I’d be able to eek by. My prayers were basically me begging for crumbs. I felt like I couldn’t ask God for what I needed or tell Him how I felt. I was lucky that He forgave me in the first place and allowed me back in the sheep fold. I didn’t expect any more than that, that was enough.
Then I learned the truth about expectations-you get what you expect. I expected nothing so I got nothing. I sought nothing so I found nothing.
What are you seeking? What are you expecting? What are you asking for?
“And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13
“So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.” Luke 11:9-10
Are you living like a slave begging for crumbs or are you approaching the throne of your Father boldly? What are your expectations of the promises in His Word?
REMEMBER: Hope is the joyful and confident expectation of good! “Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” Romans 5:5
Deep Thought Thursday: Doing What it Takes
I keep trying to focus on what I’m supposed to be doing right now. It’s hard. There are distractions everywhere all the time. There are friends and family who I love and want to spend time with. There are great books to read. Good movies and television shows to watch. There are church events, conferences and small groups to attend. People to pour into and encourage. My house needs to be vacuumed, badly. I need to do laundry. There are dishes in the sink. I really could use a nap. I probably should to go to the gym. It’s so nice out, I really should be outside.
So many things I could be doing. Not one of them are bad things or wrong things…but right now I have a God project with a short deadline. Looking at it, it seems an impossible deadline to meet and I just want to quit. I want to give up and just sleep.
God’s confirmed to me that I am where I’m supposed to be and that this project is the beginning of the rest of the words spoken over me coming to pass. I’m so excited about all that God has for me and my future. Truly. But I’m still holding back. I’m still hiding. I know that God is faithful. I know that God wouldn’t ask me to do something He hasn’t equipped me to do. I know He’s with me and will do what I can’t. And yet, here I am just under three weeks out from my deadline and I’ve barely started.
I had a talk with a friend earlier this week and she said this, “Are you willing to do what ever it takes? Are you willing to go all in?” I have to admit that I’ve always been reluctant to go all in on anything. In relationships I always hold back a part of myself. In work and school, I’ve rarely given 100%. I’ve thought if don’t go all in and I fail…well…somehow that’s excusable to me. It’s ok. But if I were to go all in and fail…well then that makes me a failure. I do not know when or how I acquired this faulty logic….but I did. I’m not sure if it’s fear or laziness or a combination there of but this thinking’s got to go.
I keep thinking of what it says in Revelation 3:15-16, “I know all the things you do, that you are neither hot nor cold. I wish that you were one or the other! But since you are like lukewarm water, neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth!”
I don’t want to be wishy washy or luke warm. But truthfully for most of my life I’ve just let things happen instead of choosing a path. I wasn’t sure who I was or what I wanted so how could I make a decision? I would still complain because I don’t like what was going on in my life, but I didn’t know how to change it. I didn’t realize I was doing this until a few years ago. Once I realized it, I tried very hard to seek God’s will for my life and choose to follow the path He set for me. Honestly, I thought I’d gotten better and improved, but truthfully….I haven’t. If I had, I’d be so much farther on my God project.
Life’s about choices. Both the ones we make and the ones we don’t make. I am standing at the fork in the road. I can choose to stay right where I am. I can let life just happen to me or I can choose to obey God. I can choose to do what it takes to complete this project. I can take the necessary steps to go in the direction of all the amazing things God has for me.
Today I choose to believe God and trust Him. Today I’ve decided that I’m going to do whatever it takes to accomplish the task God has given to me. I’ve decided to go all in and hold nothing back. It’s a whole lot scary…but I’m gonna do it anyway!
This is my prayer & my goal. Romans 12:11, “not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord;” and I Corinthians 15:58, “So, my dear brothers and sisters, be strong and immovable. Always work enthusiastically for the Lord, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless.”
This song came to mind when I was writing this, and I found a video of Third Day singing it. (Yay!) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kpE2cLdVsk8
Deep Thought Thursday-God’s Not Mad at You.
After writing yesterday’s post I feel like I need to say and repeat multiple times that God is not mad at you!
God’s not mad at you!
God’s not mad at you!
God’s not mad at you!
He’s not. And He doesn’t regret choosing you either! Romans 11:29 says that the gifts and calling God determined for you are irrevocable. IRREVOCABLE!
God does not give and take away. The only place in the Bible it says that is in Job. And Job said that because He didn’t know God very well and that’s what He thought was happening. But he was wrong. God blessed Job and prospered him. It’s the enemy who stole it. The enemy killed his children, his livestock, and covered him in boils.
God gives and doesn’t take it back. He is constant. The word in Romans 11:29 for irrevocable can also mean without regret. God doesn’t regret giving you gifts nor does He regret calling you. Let that sink in.
jillbeingstill 