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Of Massages and Love Languages

I often carry bags full of books and notebooks.  I tend to sit with one foot tucked under the other leg or sit completely slouched over while reading.  My posture is not ideal.  My hips like to come out of alignment.  Soooo….getting massaged or chiropractically adjusted regularly keeps me out of pain.  

I say this because I had my first massage with a new masseur yesterday.  Whenever I am forced to find a new person for hair or massages or eyebrow waxing…I tend to pray the whole voyage there because a bad massage, haircut, or brow wax makes me a very sad Jill.  I am happy to report WOW!  This guy!  Dear God in Heaven…AH-MAY-ZING!

All that to say that while I was getting all my kinks and sore spots rubbed out I started thinking about the power of touch.  Depending upon the type and intention of the touch it can inspire/encourage or destroy someone.  

Random thoughts through my massage…

Yes.  This is my happy place.

Why do people hit each other?  Deal with your inner crap. Don’t inflict it on others.

I still remember being stunned when an ex-boyfriend backhanded me for calling him out on his bad behavior.

I remember being stunned again when another ex who saw what happened jumped in to protect me.

Everyone’s lives would be better if they had regular massages.

Kids need a certain number of hugs per day for survival and 12 hugs a day to grow.  I told my nephew this.  His response involved an eye roll and a compromise….”Can’t you just hug me once and count to 12?”

Ow.  Wow.  Didn’t realize there was a muscle there that required stretching. Dang!

I wish I were taller so I could still give my niece, Hally Jo, spinny hugs.  The last time I tried, her feet touched the ground and we biffed it spectacularly in front of people.  Not awesome.  We were both in dresses.  She told me a few weeks ago she missed my spinny hugs. My heart melted.  Love that girl.

I know my hair will be greasy and all over the place…but yes…please use pressure points on my head and neck.  Ahhh. Bliss

I miss being able to hug my nieces and nephews.  I miss my people.  I miss sitting next to my sister on her couch.  We both are touch and quality time people so we can just sit next to each other and talk or watch Hallmark movies for days and be at the utmost of contentment.

If I were independently wealthy I’d hire this guy to be my own personal masseur.  #dailymassages #goals

Ahhh…my fave part of a massage is when they massage between my elbows and wrists and hands.  

Hands. When is the last time someone held my hand? Ack. Too long.  

Touch and quality time.  Love languagues.  I think those were my top two.

Stop random thoughts here.  Carry on blog post in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…

Have you read about the 5 love languages?  It’s written by a Ph D wielding therapist named Gary Chapman.  The premise is that people give and receive love differently depending upon what they value most.  I bought the book ages ago and read it.  It wasn’t a perfect theory, but it did give me a heart check on how I love other people.

Since it had been a while, I retook the test.  Quality time is my biggest one.  Followed by touch.  Exactly what I remembered, just in backwards order.  You can take it here.

I love alone time.  I need more of it than most people I know.  When I am with people I prefer to be one on one or in small groups so that we can really talk or bond or what have you.  I alternate between being alone and being with my people one at at time.  When I can do this, it fills me up quick.  It’s how I best show that I love someone, by giving them my time and undivided attention.  But with my recent move, I cannot always do that. 

My second love language is touch.  I sat and thought a lot about this one during my massage and into today.  If I don’t know you, or don’t trust you and you touch me…it makes every part of my insides scream and crawl.  I do not like to be touched by people I don’t trust.  Not even a little bit.  On the reverse side, sitting with a kiddo in my lap reading a story, holding someone’s hand, sitting next to someone I love, hugs, and the like also fills my love tank.  Insert “My name is Olaf and I like warm hugs.” quote here.

I believe love is a verb not an emotion.

For the record I can also speak the other 3 languages…words of affirmation, acts of service, and receiving gifts.  I love to encourage, helping others, and give gifts I think people will really like.  I’m not always awesome at receiving encouragement, people doing things for me, and receiving gifts.  

Words… I love written words.  So I appreciate when people say thank you or that they appreciate me, or send a card telling me that.  And who doesn’t enjoy being told they are loved?

Gifts… I appreciate when someone buys me a random gift that shows they know me well and were thinking about me.  I’m not super big on forced gift giving on anniversaries, holidays, or even my birthday.  I’d much rather just be with the people doing something together.  That’s the best kind of gift to me.  

Acts of service…when I lived with other people I appreciated them picking up after themselves or helping me with yard work and cleaning.  Now I appreciate people who call me when they’re going to the store to see if I’d like to go.  I wait for those moments to buy heavy things.  Carrying multiple 12 packs of LaCroix home a half mile from the nearest store is serious exercise.  😉

Not sure if you’re interested in learning about love languages, but it helped me to pay attention and try to love people the way that they need to be loved.  I’m a big believer in love being a verb not an emotion.  So in that vein.  The next few Terrific Tuesdays will be about love languages.  

Would love to hear any input about what makes you feel loved or ways that you show other people you love them.  Comment away friends.  Comment away.

Point to ponder while you wander… Spinny hugs.  A spinny hug is akin to a secret handshake that started between Hally Jo and I when she was anti-hugs…somewhere around age 5.  I bend down and we give each other something akin to a bear hug. Then I stand tall at 5’2″ and pick her up.  Now the fun part…we spin as fast as I am able to rotate.  Giggles generally ensue here.  Hally Jo insisted that her cousin, Abbe, also about 5, be included in the spinny hug club.

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Fun Fact Friday: Pulp Fiction

Before e-readers and audio books…

Before television…

Even before paperbacks and comic books…

There was PULP FICTION!

The Pulp…

Rough and untreated paper made from wood pulp, as opposed to the shiny and higher priced “glossy.” This low quality paper allowed for a cheaper publication cost, and therefore wider circulation of the magazines.

The Fiction….

A bevy of stories across all the genres written by a varied flock of writers. The writers would often use multiple pen names so they could have more than one story in a single magazine. They weren’t paid very well, so they would need to pump out as many stories as they could, as quickly as they could. 

The Pulp + The Fiction…

Pulp fiction refers to the cheaply printed magazines that invited, lured, and sometimes enticed the American public with colorful and sometimes lurid covers and the promise of adventure. Magazine stands from the late 1890s into the 1950s were filled with these “pulps.” But the high point in sales and popularity was definitely the 1920s – 1930s. Sources vary on the total sales but the most popular during this time could sell upwards of a million per issue!

The insides were without illustrations.

The edges were rough.

But the stories…ah the stories…

These stories provided readily available entertainment, adventure, or in some cases escape. 

Heroes rescuing damsels in distress from mustache twirling villains. 

Cowboys taming the wild wild west. 

Eerie science fiction and scary horror stories. 

Adventures in far off lands. 

Spicy romance and mysteries being solved by brilliant detectives.  

All this for about a dime an issue!

Reminds me of my Papa and his “2 cartoons and a movie for 12 cents” stories from his childhood…which happens to be towards the end of the popularity of the pulp magazines. He used to say, “Who knows? The shadow knows.” Cracked me up! But I found it that The Shadow was actually a popular pulp fiction character, as were Hopalong Cassidy, Conan the Barbarian, Tarzan, and Zorro!

Point to ponder while you wander… “Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin…” Zechariah 4:10 NLT

This blog is my small beginning.  Encouraging me to write at least a few days a week. But for some famous authors their small beginning was the pulp magazines. Don’t believe me? Check out a few of the many vastly underpaid pulp fiction writers who became household names:

Ray Bradbury (Fahrenheit 451)

Edgar Rice Burroughs (Tarzan, John Carter)

Agatha Christie (Murder on the Orient Express)

F. Scott Fitzgerald (The Great Gatsby)

Dashiell Hammett (The Maltese Falcon, The Thin Man Series)

Rudyard Kipling (The Jungle Book)

Louis L’Amour (Hopalong Cassidy and a whole lot of other westerns)

Uptown Sinclair (The Jungle)

Mark Twain (The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, The Advenures of Huckleberry Finn)

H.G. Wells (Time Machine, War of the Worlds)

Tennessee Williams (Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, Streetcar named Desire)

Truthful Tuesday…One Nation

We are all one race…human. All made in the image and likeness of God. You want to know how to fix our nation? 

1. Pray for her. Pray for our leaders. Pray for unity for our people. You don’t have to like someone to pray for them. #prayforyourenemies #prayforourleaders

2. Be kind to one another. Accept that not everyone looks, feels, or thinks the same as you do. You don’t have to agree with someone to be kind. #loveiskind #loveyourneighborasyourself

And 3. Stop complaining. Start listening. Stop saying us and them. #2ears1mouth #onenationunderGod

Point to ponder while you wander… “I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”

2 AM Thoughts

I am in love with Clark Kent. I have an affinity for regular humans who look like him or have his character traits.

I wish I could go swimming right now but the pool closes at 8 pm and doesn’t open until 10 am tomorrow. Lame. I know.

I wish I were braver.

I’d like to be kind and blunt at the same time, and always tell people what I see when I look at them. I don’t mean “I like your shoes” or “He’s so hot.”

But to really say something they need to hear, “Don’t wear dresses that short. You are worth more than that. You are selling yourself short and cheapening yourself. And people are mocking you.”

“Why are you dating someone who doesn’t value you? Who dismisses you and your opinion?”

“You are beautiful.”

“You are valuable.”

“Don’t you know that you are the joy set before Jesus, that made Him certain that crucifixion was completely worth it?”
I love my people but I can’t imagine heading into crucifixion with joy. 🤤 That astounds me.

I really want ice cream.

Point to ponder while you wander…people are usually aware of their flaws, but not what makes them wonderful.

So next time you tell someone you love them. Tell them why. Or compliment who they are as a person.

2016’s Resolution

Last Year’s New Year’s Resolution.  Pass or Fail.  I’ll let you decide.

Backstory:  I determined after about a decade+ of the same new year’s resolution (not putting myself in a situation I was not strong enough to resist).  I was going to stop doing resolutions.  Goals are important.  Yes.  But tying them to a day on the calendar I think can sometimes be more stressful than good.  Anyway… I had a well meaning (I think) person ask me about my new year’s resolutions.  I told her I didn’t have any.  She looked at me like I had three heads.  “Bbbbut you have to have new year’s resolutions.”

Um.  No.  I don’t.

But the conversation continued until I said fine….my new year’s resolution is to learn the actual lyrics to Bennie and the Jets by Elton John.

I believe there was eye rolling involved by one or both parties…but it was a year ago so I can’t be completely sure.

So did I in fact learn the lyrics to Bennie and the Jets?  Well….let me type them out and see how I do.  This is without listening to the song in a few weeks.  And without it on now.  Just memory.

Hey kids, shake it loose and listen.  The spotlight’s hitting something that’s been known to change the weather.  We’ll kill the spotted calf tonight so stick around.  You’re gonna hear electric walls of souuuuund.

Oh Candy and Ronnie have you seen them yet?  Ooh but their so spaced out.  Bbbbennie and the Jets.  Oh their weird and their wonderful.  Oh Bennie she’s really keen.  She’s got electric boots, a mohair suit.  You know I read it in a magazine, oh ohhh.  Bbbbennie and the Jets

Hey kids….. something something something…

hmmm.  There’s another part here la la la la la 

We’ll fight our parents out in the streets to see who’s right and who’s wrong.

Oh Candy and Ronnie have you seen them yet?  Oh but their so spaced out.  Bbbbennie and the Jets.  Oh their weird and their wonderful.  Oh Bennie she’s really keen.  She’s got electric boots, a mohair suit.  You know I read it in a magazine, oh ohhh.  Bbbbennie and the Jets

Okay… I’d give myself a C+ if these lyrics are correct because I can only remember the first and last lines of the 2nd verse.

Now I’m gonna listen to it and see if I can get them all….hold briefly.  Or maybe you listen too. (The video is classic 70’s Elton…my personal favorite Elton).

Ok…so I missed a few words. electric music solid walls of sound. In my first attempt.  Fatted calf.  Not spotted.

Chorus.  Yes. Yes.  Pretty Solid.

2nd verse with the music…not perfect but close.  This is what I sang… Hey kids welcome to the faithless uh uh blinded  but Bennie makes them ageless.  We shall survive let us bring ourselves along.  We’ll fight our parents out in the streets to see who’s right and who’s wrong.

Full Lyrics to Bennie and the Jets by Elton John and Bernie Taupin

Hey kids, shake it loose together
The spotlight’s hitting something
That’s been known to change the weather
We’ll kill the fatted calf tonight
So stick around
You’re gonna hear electric music
Solid walls of sound

Say, Candy and Ronnie, have you seen them yet
Uh but they’re so spaced out, B-B-B-Bennie and the Jets
Oh but they’re weird and they’re wonderful
Oh Bennie she’s really keen
She’s got electric boots a mohair suit
You know I read it in a magazine
B-B-B-Bennie and the Jets

Hey kids, plug into the faithless
Maybe they’re blinded
But Bennie makes them ageless
We shall survive, let us take ourselves along
Where we fight our parents out in the streets
To find who’s right and who’s wrong

Oh Candy and Ronnie, have you seen them yet
Oh but they’re so spaced out, Bennie and the Jets
Oh but they’re weird and they’re wonderful
Oh Bennie she’s really keen
She’s got electric boots a mohair suit
You know I read it in a magazine, oh
B-B-B-Bennie and the Jets

Oh Candy and Ronnie, have you seen them yet
Oh but they’re so spaced out, Bennie and the Jets
Oh but they’re weird and they’re wonderful
Oh Bennie she’s really keen
She’s got electric boots a mohair suit
You know I read it in a magazine, oh
B-B-B-Bennie and the Jets
Bennie, Bennie and the Jets
Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie and the Jets
Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie and the Jets
Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie and the Jets
Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie and the Jets
Jets, Jets
Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie
Bennie, Bennie and the Jets

So I did pretty well, not perfectly…but pretty well.  I listened to three times in a row and got it about 99% right, so I am checking the box to 2016 New Year’s Resolution Complete.  If you’re looking for a new year’s resolution or need one to get someone off your back.  Give this one a try.  It was a fun one for me over the year.  I tried to get other people to learn them with me.  My 12, now 13, year old nephew.  My roommate.  You know.  Share the fun.

Point to Ponder While You Wander… Don’t let people pressure you about your goals.  You determine where you’re headed. So you should set your own goals that lead you in the direction YOU want to go.  Don’t be pressured into being or doing something that just isn’t you.  You be you.

Also…not all goals have to be life or death serious, people.  Jesus came to give us abundant lives…that includes joy and laughter.  And this NY’s Resolution thing has been really funny to me all year long.

PS…Do you sing “Hold me closer Tony Danza” instead of “Hold me closer Tiny Dancer” too?  Or is that just me? Ha ha

Pear Tomatoes and The Sick Day

I’m currently down with a sinus infection. So after picking up my prescription today I went to the store to get some essentials. And I found these…

For those of you who don’t know, these glorious things are pear tomatoes. One of my top ten favorite foods.

NaNa used to grow these for me when I was young. Being alone in a new city, and sick, I needed this today. I needed happy yellow fruit and the memory of something NaNa used to grow specifically for me, because she knew I loved them.

I don’t have a point for you to ponder while you wander today. I just needed to share my little spot of joy in my Kleenex and Neti Pot filled sick day. 

I also have a sick day confession… Hallmark Christmas Movies started today and I was sucked in to watching two of them before my nap. I know. I know. I broke my rule about all things Christmas waiting until after Thanksgiving today. But Hallmark Christmas Movies are the cheesiest (and by cheesiest I mean ooey gooey heartwarming and predictable but I love them and cannot help myself) and best! Now I want to have a cheesy Christmas romance in my life soooo bad that it’s ridiculous. 

Hallmark Christmas Movies are indeed my guilty pleasure and apparently my kryptonite. 

This has been confessions with the Red Hot Jilly Pepper. I am sorry but not sorry. And you’re welcome to join my Hallmark movie support group. I’ve got tissues. You bring the snacks. We’ll watch together and dream of our own perfectly orchestrated Christmas romances. 😉

Fun Fact Friday: Cheeky Monkey

If you’ve read much of my blog you know that I am a fan of etymology.  And in that vein my curiosity was piqued about Cheeky Monkey?  Like what in the world?  Cheeky Monkey?

Cheeky is defined in the 1859 dictionary as an adjective, “from cheek, in it’s sense of insolence.”

It’s generally used when someone is mouthy or speaks their mind too easily.  My mom used to call it “lip” rather than cheek, but you get the idea. Cheeky is generally thought of as a British term, and that’s probably true. I don’t hear it in my neck of the woods.

Ken Greenwald, of Colorado, quoted several dictionaries (Partridge’s Dictionary of Slang, Oxford English Dictionary, Random House Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Cassell’s Dictionary of Slang, Chapman’s Dictionary of American Slang, Oxford Dictionary of Word Histories) and posted this in an online discussion forum.  I like his verbiage so I’m using it and quoting him directly.

CHEEKY (1859), impudent, insolent, saucy derives from CHEEK (1823), verbal insolence, audacity, impudence, effrontery, brass, chutzpa and was originally considered slang but now is Standard English. “If he gives me any cheek, I’ll knock him down”—George Moore, 1884. The term is metaphorical and has been associated with the cheeks when speaking to or facing someone with confidence. ‘Lip,’ ‘face,’ ‘jaw’ and ‘chin’ have been used similarly. The expression often appears in the form ‘to have the cheek to’ (also ‘to have the face’) to dare, to have the nerve to do something.

So what is a cheeky monkey?

Cheeky monkey is can mean an impudent person, but in most definitions I found it was referred to as what a woman says in response to a man’s flirtation and what not, especially if he’s over eager.  Urban dictionary says, “Term used to define sexual our witty comment made in jest. Cheeky means you are flippant, have too much lip or are a bit of a smart butt! Generally you are considered to be a bit cheeky if you have an answer for everything and always have the last word.”

Sometimes parents use this as a term of annoyed endearment when their kids are being saucy and sassy, like the little guy pictured below.

monkey

Photo found on Pinterest, no photographer listed to credit.

My favorite definition was found it the open dictionary, said, “Used for telling someone that they are not showing respect when you are not really angry.”

Used with a tsk tsk or shaking of the head and a wink I am sure. 😉

Point to ponder while you wander…Tongue in cheek means that something shouldn’t be taken seriously or that it was meant in jest.  It’s characterized by either insincerity or exaggeration.  I’m sensing that cheeky monkey is to be used in that same vein.