jillbeingstill

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Jill Smash

I generally have a sunny outlook and think positively.  But there are days that are hard to remain sunny side up.  The worst days for me are when I’m watching someone I love go through something and I know there’s zero I can do to help.  Whether it be emotional, physical, spiritual, medical and every other kind of ‘al’.  I feel powerless.  And I hate that feeling.

Logically I understand there are times when people have to walk it out.  They have to face and deal with things to grow.  But I have this protective mechanism inside of me that when activated makes me feel like the Incredible Hulk.  I want to smash everything in their way.  Smash anyone that has hurt or is hurting them.  Jill Smash.

I have to fight not to mother hen people.  (My siblings will attest to this).  I want to guard and protect.  It takes actual effort for me to let someone deal with their own consequences.  I always want to cushion and coddle.  But I know that I can’t.  I know that hurts people and stunts their growth.  I know that my job is to pray and encourage.  Then trust God to help them and protect them.  I have to tell you…that’s a weak link in my chain.  I trust God completely with my life, but I find it REALLY hard to trust Him with the people I love.  Like suddenly God becomes powerless in dealing with them, but not me.  I have no idea why or how I developed this wrong thinking, but I did.  It’s a serious problem for me lately.

The thing I’m trying to keep in mind is that Jesus never coddled a single person.  EVER.  He did His part and trusted God with the rest.  He always loved people.  But He told them the truth too.  He was balanced and was able to challenge and encourage people at the same time.  That’s what I want to be able to do.

Now I just have to figure out how exactly to do that.  Looks like I’ll be reading the Gospels this weekend.  Happy Friday.

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